refraiN!!

I really don’t want to repeat the same mistakes I did from last. I don’t want to loose something because of my stupidity. That’s how vulnerable I am as of this moment. I’m loosing all the confidence that I built in a span of years. In just a quick crashed, I lost everything. I am no longer certain to possible things. Maybe this time, I want it to be different. Correct the mistakes ive done from my past and live a conscience-free life. I don’t care what my life would take me as long I will be able to avoid being wrecked into pieces. But what makes it difficult for me is that I am denying my true emotions. I am hiding those things that would make me happy. It’s just ironic that I cannot choose the life I wanted. But if it is the best thing to do, then I have no choice. But do you want to know why I am uttering to non-sense stuff like these. Its because I was tamed again. At first I thought, it was ok and just continue to what has been going on. But days go by, it brings me into confusion that maybe I misunderstood the kindness that has been shown. I hate it! I am too weak. I can’t even recognized whether it was true or or just a misconception. And it made me even scared to know the truth so before any dilemma would draw closer; I want to discontinue it to avoid being upset again. You just have no idea how much trauma has caused me the last time. So as early as today, I want to make things right. I want to lay it up to God. I know he’s currently writing the best story for me and sooner or later I maybe able to grasp what was been written for me. Sure, its not easy but one way or another, it would help me continue my life easily and painlessly.